


To All The Ones I've Loved Before

by aurria



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, I'll add more tags as needed, Keith is a Mess, Love Letters, M/M, Multi, To All The Boys I've Loved Before AU, getting together is hard to do, lance is a mess, lying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 15:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15910794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurria/pseuds/aurria
Summary: Hopeless romantic Lance has loved a total of five people in his life. And he's let them all go by writing them love letters and hiding them in his closet. It's easier to let go that to let himself really deal with those feelings, I mean, love is scary right?But one day those letters get out and life turns into one big mess.





	To All The Ones I've Loved Before

**Author's Note:**

> I watched To All The Boys I've Loved Before the other day and some of the klance fan art that has popped up by artists like emuyhn and naranshilBl on twitter inspired me to sit down and start this.
> 
> I have not read the books, so this adaptation will stay true to the basic premise of the movie, but will likely stray from the story that was presented as a whole.
> 
> Updates will likely be slow as work keeps me busy. 
> 
> And for those wondering about my other ongoing story, I'm still working on it. I know it's been a while and I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

I’d always been a romantic, just like my mama, Marco would call me a hopeless romantic, Luis would always tell me if I stayed too long day dreaming I’d end up stuck there permanently. Veronica never teased me much, but I think she understood that it was a part of me that was like mama, and being the baby of the family I had had the least amount of time with her. Growing up Veronica would tell me stories about how she’d say kisses were supposed to be magic - two people who shared feelings for each other would meet, go someplace that was beautiful and meaningful where they’d kiss and it’d be so heart wrenchingly beautiful that it could make even the hardest of hearts swoon.

I’d dreamt of that kiss. The first kiss after a heartfelt confession of love. The one that would be the start to everything wonderful.

There was just one problem.

The one I wanted? The one I was in love with? I couldn’t have.

His name is Ryan Kinkade, and he’s dating Veronica. But he was my boyfriend first. Specifically with a space between those words. A boy who was a friend. We grew up with each other, he was my best friend. And I mean, _best friend_ , the kind you could talk to about anything and everything no matter how stupid or mundane.

I remember one time we talking about whether we’d rather eat the same thing forever, something like butter on untoasted bread, or if we’d rather eat whatever we wanted, but it had to have something disgusting in it, like anchovies. He’d picked the anchovies. He said he suffer the anchovies just to eat his favorite foods. And he had a point, but if you ask me, anchovies and papas rellenas did not seem appetizing at all.

When Vero and Ryan first started dating two years ago when he and I started our second year of high school, it didn’t seem like a lot was really going to change between us. We still hung out, went to movies, and grabbed food. But as time went on, it felt more and more awkward. I was realizing that, while they tried to keep it normal, I was becoming the third wheel. We became different people.

Well, I really don’t think I changed all that much, but he did. I would have said something to him, but he seemed happy, and he made Vero happy. And in the end that’s all that mattered to me.

So I tagged out. Took a step back from them and only hung out with them when we were at home, watching reruns of Voltron on the TV. And it was fun.

The hardest part about it though, was trying to give up on my feelings. Though I never acted on them, and _would never_ act on them because I couldn’t do that to my sister, it was incredibly difficult. I often wonder that if maybe, if I had realized my feelings before he and Vero started dating, we could have been a thing, and if it would have worked out, and all the kisses we’d share, and anything else that might have happened.

With him coming over almost every day, he lived right next door, pushing those feelings down was incredibly difficult. Every time I’d think I’d finally done it, when I’d feel like I’d almost climbed out of and away from those feelings, he’d do something sweet and caring and it’d be like missing a step on the stairs and falling all the way back to the bottom. So I had decided that I was going to have to do what I did for every other person I’ve ever loved.

I had a box, on the top shelf of my closet, all the way in the back hidden in the corner where the light didn’t touch it. I had found it in a box of my mama’s stuff that papa had kept. It didn’t look like anything special really, it didn’t look like much more than a wooden jewelry type box with a hinged lid, but papa had gotten misty eyed when he’d found me in my room with it.

He let me keep it anyway.

It was in that box that I kept my love letters. None of them to me, I mean, god, that’d be really nice though, to receive letters from the one you love? But no, I’d never received one. Really, thinking about it maybe these letters were less like love letters and more like goodbye letters? It was like writing them would take my feelings out of me, and put them somewhere I could just read about them, somewhere that I wouldn’t have to feel them anymore. After all, day dreaming about love is a lot easier than trying to find it.

Anyway, these letters were written to the all the people I’ve ever loved before.

Nyma Lentz, from space camp in fourth grade. She had the prettiest blonde pigtails of anyone at camp. I tried telling her almost every day. One day I thought she might kiss me.

I thought wrong.

To this day I’m still not sure how a nine year-old got ahold of handcuffs, but she handcuffed me to a tree and it took three hours for any of the counselors to come looking for me.

So she was my first letter in the box. And I let go of those feelings.

Jenny Shaybon was from the sixth grade Valentine’s dance. I had been so nervous to ask her to dance, but she was sitting all alone on the bleachers like she was just waiting for me. Veronica eventually pushed me toward asking her, and she’d said yes.

We never spoke again after that dance. I’m not sure why.

Keith Kogane as my first kiss in seventh grade. I’d been at James’ birthday party. We were playing spin the bottle and when it was my turn, it had landed on him.

Sometimes I still think about that kiss, how my lips tingled afterwards despite it lasting no more than three seconds.

I still remember James’ face, he looked like I’d just killed his pet cat.

Allura Altea. Freshman year of high school she’d been class president. Everyone loved her. She’d always been nice to everyone and I was no exception to that kindness.

I guess everyone was a little in love with her.

Ryan Kinkade. The latest letter. My most recent goodbye.

This was my deepest secret. I’d always thought no one would ever find them, that no one but me would ever read them, let alone they get out to the people they were written to.

But that’s exactly what happened.

My name is Lance McClain, and I don’t know how they got out or if maybe the universe was playing some big joke on me, but this is the story about how my life as I knew it ended and everything turned into one massive lie.

**Author's Note:**

> This is only the prologue and I'm unsure as of yet if it will stay in first person or if the pov will be switching. We'll have to see. Please look forward to rest of the story, however predictable the ending may be.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Errors will be corrected as I find them!


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